Kimberley Wrap Up (R)

Kimberley

Kimberley was first named the Big Rush when diamonds were found on a farm, that is the reason it even exists today. Since those mines have closed it has been in a steady decline. Within South Africa, Kimberley has one of the highest unemployment rates, the least amount of opportunities, rampant crime, the highest suicide rate and now the Maloof Money Cup. Here are some of the highlights from our trip to the hole.

The most entertaining thing in Kimberley is a big hole.

Greg Lutzka

The level of skateboarding was impressive yet somewhat predictable, these guys were always going to be doing their go-to tricks. I’d rather talk about one of the most hated skateboarders around today, Greg Lutzka. Greg and Jack Curtin skated against each other in a “heat?” (what do we even call this shit?). Everybody was blatantly cheering on Jack. People got so hyped on Jack when he one-upped Greg by switch backside 5-0′ing the hubba right after Greg 5-0′d it. After the run Jack came back to high 5′s and hugs while not even one person spoke to Greg.

I was feeling a little sorry for Greg. A few minutes after he had lost to Jack Curtin I found him having a sulk in the media tent. Now normally the last thing I would want to do is interview this fucker, but as I said, I felt sorry for him and thought a question on camera could cheer him up knowing the attention seeking media whore that he is. “F.M.K” would work I thought. So I approached Greg and dropped three of his friends names for the options. Greg looked uncomfortable. Greg hadn’t practiced the answer to this sort of question. Greg didn’t reply because Greg doesn’t have a sense of humour. Greg pissed off in his shitty K-Swiss takkies. Greg mumbled “Get the hell outta here”.

I wanted to caption this photo with “does this backside 360 ollie count as a land?”, but Luke Jackson said I wasn’t allowed to call out “The Boss” on the site.  Andrew Reynolds – perfect backside 360 ollie.

Greg Lutzka taking himself way too seriously.

The Crowd

You would think the crowd was there for skateboarding. Nope, they were there for free product. I witnessed many people, including cops and government officials, walk up to the Session and AV stands and simply ask “what’s free?”. There was no interest in the actual product or what these guys are doing for skateboarding. Clint van der Schyf at AV experienced it first hand when a bunch of little shits grabbed as many free AV DVDs as possible and then attempted to sell them to the unsuspecting public. My favourite crowd promo moment came when Clint decided to throw out hundreds of AV DVDs to the crowd sitting on the stands. Unfortunately for Clint, the wind took the majority of the DVDs right over the stands. Fortunately for Clint he would be able to buy them back later for R10 a DVD.

“Now if I could only get more attention.”

The guy in the red vest at the top of the stands updates his modeling portfolio while the rest of the crowd wonders where sheckler is?

At least his eyes won’t get cancer.

Waiting for their chance to hit the mega ramp.

The most excited the crowd got all weekend.

It’s going to take more than just a haircut.

The Lil’ Jon Concert

We got tickets to the Lil Jon concert at the last moment from one of Mark’s homies at the skatepark of Tampa. The setup for the whole gig was strange, the crowd who paid for tickets were about 500m away from the stage behind these massive gates. In front was the golden circle with about 50 people and 300m of free space behind them.

Behind the stage were kitchens where media and riders could go party. There were about 15 kitchens in total but for some unknown reason we all squashed together into two of them – the only logical reasoning behind this was because those two kitchens were serving the free booze, and yes, the booze was free. If you brought a beer from me for R20, I’m sorry to tell you that you got ripped off. Our friend Greg Lutzka got on stage with Lil Jon to help feed his attention deficit disorder and once again proved that a MTV reality show based around his ego could provide more entertainment than “Life of Ryan”.

Joe Maloof showing the locals a good time.

Lil’ Jon.

Backstage death stares.

Leon Bester happier than a pig in shit.

Dlamini Dlamini and Gary McNaughton getting loose backstage.

Giovanni Votano and Siya Ntuli find the party.

Backstage at the Lil’ Jon concert.

Mall Grabs

The mall-grab is the first indicator that a skateboarder doesn’t know what the fuck is up, and there were in abundance over the weekend. According to urban dictionary, the mall grab is 1. a verb and 2. “Typical of people who spend more time carrying their skateboard around the mall as a fashion accessory instead of actually riding it.”. Eli Reed came prepared and was rocking one of these for most of the weekend. Good call Mr Reed, where can I buy one in South Africa? The mall?

Fakie mall grab without the worry of wearing down the tail. Pressure cracks on the other hand…

Might as well rollerblade.

T.I.A

The coach section of Maloof.

Is that a skateboard or a key chain?

Backside mall grab.  Mark Donaldson holds an intervention, 473 to go.

I’d love to see someone drop in on the vert ramp on this

The Commentary

I’ve always considered South Africa to be a bit of a magnet for stupid tricks, so it was hilarious when Vern Laird and Paul Zitzer were clearly taking the piss with the commentary during the locals skate section. I’ve forgot a few but these stick out:

“360 flip late flip… when did lateflips become so popular again?”
“Rocketflip!”
“Indy Airwalk, that’s not something you see everyday.”
“Hardflip! That was casual.”
“Pop shuv it tail grab…. haven’t seen one of those in a while.”

Vern Laird and Paul Zitzer.

Lil’ Jon’s stunt double getting some love from Paul Zitzer after going large the night before.

Room 107

Bobby Lizard Reynolds from Room 107 at the Protea Hotel threw a going-away party for the entire skate scene on Sunday night. Steak out-lasted us at Reprobait and wrote a Mahala article. Rumour has it that some girl who was not associated with the Maloof Money Cup was staying in Room 107. If she wasn’t already regretting visiting Kimberley I’m willing to bet she was by Monday morning.

Quotes

When traveling for 12 hours you’re going to get some special quotes, here are some we heard on the drive up from Cape Town and over the weekend.

Loucas Polydorou
“Do you think they will cater for vegetarians in Kimberley?”
“I hate Tom Hanks. I don’t like his chin.”
“I don’t think anyone is going to worry about your gardening, ma dear.”

Mark Donaldson
“I love everything about sharks, how dangerous they are and especially how they eat people.”
Mark looks at a lizard lying in the road; “Doesn’t he get bored?”

Brendan Body
“Rowley and I are best friends man, we chilled together for 3 hours.”
Bod points at his teeth; “Look at these yellow pearlers, it looks like somebody shat in my mouth.”

Darren Jacoby
“Don’t eat too much guys, we’ve got a long drive ahead of us and I don’t want to have to stop every 5 minutes.”

JJ Harris
While watching Jake Brown skate the mega-ramp; “Jake Brown, taking it to flat!”

Did one of your friends say something stupid while at the Maloof Money Cup? Quote them in the comments section below.